The Patterns That Keep Couples Stuck
The problem isn’t you.
It’s the pattern
A two-hour online workshop for couples who love each other,
but feel worn down by the same unresolved conflicts.
You’re not fighting because you don’t love each other.
You’re fighting because you’re stuck in a cycle.
Many couples come to this work feeling exhausted.
They walk on eggshells.
They manage each other’s emotions.
They keep having the same arguments that never really resolve.
They’ve tried talking it through, being more patient, explaining themselves better.
And still, they end up in the same place.
This workshop is for couples who know there’s still care and love underneath the frustration, but don’t know how to get out of the pattern they’re in.
This workshop is for you if…
You keep having the same circular fights, even when you try to handle them differently
One or both of you feel unseen, unheard, or unappreciated
Conflict escalates quickly or shuts things down completely
You feel more like co-parents or roommates than friends and lovers
You’re doing your best, but it still feels hard
Most couples who come are simply stuck.
This workshop is designed to help you…
Understand why couples experience the same conflicts over and over
See some of the strategies each of you uses when you feel hurt, threatened, or disconnected
Recognize how good intentions can accidentally keep couples stuck
Externalize the problem, so you’re no longer fighting each other
Begin to feel relief, clarity, and a sense of direction
A different way of understanding conflict
Most couples aren’t fighting because they don’t care.
They’re fighting because old, protective strategies take over when things feel unsafe.
These strategies usually developed for good reasons.
At some point, they helped.
But over time, they can turn into patterns that create distance, resentment, and loneliness, even in loving relationships.
When couples begin to see the pattern instead of blaming each other, something shifts.
Conflict stops feeling so personal.
And change starts to feel possible.
What the workshop will be like:
A calm, structured, two-hour online session
Clear teaching about relationship patterns and conflict cycles
Brief, guided partner reflections to help you start to notice what happens between you
No group sharing and no pressure to speak
A contained, respectful space
You’re welcome to attend with your partner or on your own.
Many people come alone if their partner isn’t ready yet.
You’ll still gain clarity about your relationship and what might help next.
Who this workshop is for (and who it’s not):
This workshop is a good fit if:
You want understanding, not blame
You’re open to looking at patterns, not just “who’s right”
You want support, but aren’t sure what kind yet
It may not be a fit if you’re looking for:
Quick communication tips
A one-size-fits-all solution
A replacement for couples counselling
This workshop is a starting point.
About the facilitators
Sarah Welsby is a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor.
She works primarily with individuals and couples who feel stuck in painful relational patterns.
Her approach is grounded, relational, and focused on helping people understand what’s happening beneath conflict, rather than assigning blame.
This workshop is informed by relational and attachment-based approaches to couples work, and by what I see again and again in my counselling practice.
Practical details
Format: Live online workshop (A Zoom link will be sent to you when you register)
Length: 2 hours
Cost: $35 per couple (or individual)
Dates: coming soon…
If you come to a session without your partner and want to come back to another one with them there is no charge to take the workshop again!
After the workshop, a small number of couples will be able to book a reduced-rate first couples session with the counsellor of their choosing if they want support applying this work to their specific relationship.
There’s no pressure to decide anything during the workshop.
Lyris Paña is a Master Therapeutic Counsellor with over 10 years of experience supporting individuals and couples navigating relational patterns and challenges. She works from a trauma-informed lens-while also supporting parenting and recovery from abuse. As a person of colour, she offers culturally aware counselling for BIPOC clients and those impacted by systemic stressors. Her approach integrates mindfulness, along with influences from Hakomi and NARM, to foster deep, embodied healing on a somatic level. You can find Lyris here